The Secret Art to Long Distance Relationships

Hi guys. Last night I was at a bar drinking with a friend, who is currently in the crappy situation of missing his girlfriend. She’s had to go abroad for work and he’s really struggling, being new to the whole long distance thing. So today’s post is all about that topic and includes the advice I gave my buddy.    

There comes a time in a relationship when distance becomes the biggest obstacle—whether it’s caused by a sudden career opportunity abroad, a business venture that need to be looked upon overseas, or simply a personal choice made to better a current situation—long distance relationships are indeed a challenging obstacle to overcome.

Distance is your enemy, obviously. Yet space and time can act as your friends, because these two will enable your relationship to grow. When played right, time and space can contribute to a lasting relationship, and can only make the both of you stronger for each other, even if you are separated by oceans.

Long distance relationships, when looked from a typical perspective, are challenging, frustrating, and emotional. The longing and loneliness one may experience when being apart from a loved one is all common, and sometimes it leads to worry, a sense of mistrust, and the total fallout of a relationship.

There are a lot of ways to keep your relationship alive even if you are miles apart from each other. Sure, there will always be sad times, but think of the long-term—once you’ve hurdled such a hard commitment, you’ll know that your relationship has withstood the test of time and distance.

There are three keys to working it out, and trust me on these, I’m speaking from experience. Along time ago, me and a girl were separated by miles, and this is what that experience taught me.

Okay, number one: be clear from the get go. It’s important for the both of you to know what’s the real deal—are the two of you dating? Are you exclusively seeing each other? Are you agreeing on an open relationship? Are you officially boyfriend and girlfriend? Though putting labels on relationships isn’t always recommended, it would greatly help in making a long distance relationship work. This allows clear objectives, the right to demand or to expect(when the two of you are exclusively together), or set limitations and expectations.

Once you’ve sorted out step one, step two is pretty easy. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.

This is where it gets tricky—you don’t see each other, so having physical interaction is impossible. This is really frustrating, but remember—this will allow you to communicate better. Communication is always key, and for long distance couples, it IS required. Voice calls, chat, emails, or phone calls are necessary to keep your relationship alive. Make Skype a shrine for allowing the both of you to talk as much as you can.

Finally, and this is where most long distance relationships falter—the inability to think ahead and plan for a future. Think forward and plan ahead. A long distance relationship requires trust, commitment, and patience—and it takes a great deal of an emotional investment to be in one. Time is important, and you both don’t want to waste time. If you are serious with each other, plan ahead. Think of the future as your ally—as long as it’s there, you’d be sure that the two of you would have something to look forward to each and every day, even if when the two of you are apart.

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