The Secret Art to Long Distance Relationships

Hi guys. Last night I was at a bar drinking with a friend, who is currently in the crappy situation of missing his girlfriend. She’s had to go abroad for work and he’s really struggling, being new to the whole long distance thing. So today’s post is all about that topic and includes the advice I gave my buddy.    

There comes a time in a relationship when distance becomes the biggest obstacle—whether it’s caused by a sudden career opportunity abroad, a business venture that need to be looked upon overseas, or simply a personal choice made to better a current situation—long distance relationships are indeed a challenging obstacle to overcome.

Distance is your enemy, obviously. Yet space and time can act as your friends, because these two will enable your relationship to grow. When played right, time and space can contribute to a lasting relationship, and can only make the both of you stronger for each other, even if you are separated by oceans.

Long distance relationships, when looked from a typical perspective, are challenging, frustrating, and emotional. The longing and loneliness one may experience when being apart from a loved one is all common, and sometimes it leads to worry, a sense of mistrust, and the total fallout of a relationship.

There are a lot of ways to keep your relationship alive even if you are miles apart from each other. Sure, there will always be sad times, but think of the long-term—once you’ve hurdled such a hard commitment, you’ll know that your relationship has withstood the test of time and distance.

There are three keys to working it out, and trust me on these, I’m speaking from experience. Along time ago, me and a girl were separated by miles, and this is what that experience taught me.

Okay, number one: be clear from the get go. It’s important for the both of you to know what’s the real deal—are the two of you dating? Are you exclusively seeing each other? Are you agreeing on an open relationship? Are you officially boyfriend and girlfriend? Though putting labels on relationships isn’t always recommended, it would greatly help in making a long distance relationship work. This allows clear objectives, the right to demand or to expect(when the two of you are exclusively together), or set limitations and expectations.

Once you’ve sorted out step one, step two is pretty easy. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.

This is where it gets tricky—you don’t see each other, so having physical interaction is impossible. This is really frustrating, but remember—this will allow you to communicate better. Communication is always key, and for long distance couples, it IS required. Voice calls, chat, emails, or phone calls are necessary to keep your relationship alive. Make Skype a shrine for allowing the both of you to talk as much as you can.

Finally, and this is where most long distance relationships falter—the inability to think ahead and plan for a future. Think forward and plan ahead. A long distance relationship requires trust, commitment, and patience—and it takes a great deal of an emotional investment to be in one. Time is important, and you both don’t want to waste time. If you are serious with each other, plan ahead. Think of the future as your ally—as long as it’s there, you’d be sure that the two of you would have something to look forward to each and every day, even if when the two of you are apart.

For other dating tips, feel free to go around my blog or visit for more detailed info. Be sure to sign up for my new book;


Make A Girl Like You… Fast

Greetings readers!

If you have just gotten out of a long distance relationship, you’re probably very disappointed. (Although, I do give great advice on those here). Even though it can be disappointing breaking up with a girl, you need to remember that this gives you the opportunity to be with an even better woman.

A breakup is never one person’s fault, so don’t put all the blame on yourself. The only thing you can do about a breakup is learn from it. If you learn from your past relationships, then they gave you value. I write about all these lessons in my book, sign up for a copy at Now that you’re on the lookout for your next girlfriend, it’s important to get her to notice you. So, how can you make a girl like you fast?

Okay so these are my sonic attraction strategies. What I have learned being out there in the dating game.

The first thing you need to do to make a girl like you fast is be considerate. When you first meet a girl you like, you need to make sure that you actually give her time to talk about her. Many guys end up dominating the conversation and only talking about themselves. This can give the girl a bad impression of you. If the girl has just gotten out of a long-term relationship, be kind and act interested in her problems. If she thinks that you just want to sleep with her, she’ll never pay attention to you again. There are numerous ways to get a girl to like you, and being overtly sexual is not one of them.

In fact, Rachael Ray has talked about this specifically in her show (refer to this article). I agree with her 100%.

Also, you need to be confident. Girls are never attracted to guys who are shy and don’t know what they are doing. You can always melt a girl’s heart by having a confident walk and a great smile. If you think that you’re a catch, she will think you’re one as well. If you have bad teeth, consider getting veneers. Even though they are an investment, they can pay off in the end. Many women say that a great smile is the determining factor in whether or not they will go out with him.

Finally, you need to make sure that you are available. If a girl calls you, make sure that you call her back in a timely manner. At the same time though, you don’t want to come off as desperate. Every once in a while, tell the girl that you have plans even if you do not. You want the girl to know that you have a life and are not available at all hours of the day. It can be challenging for many men to come up with the right mix of availability, but it is a very important factor in getting a girl to like you fast.

If you have followed the advice in the paragraphs above, you should be able to get the girl you like to like you back. As long as you are confident (and you have achieved inner peace), it shouldn’t be that hard for a girl to like you. Girls love it when guys are confident and know what they’re doing, so always try your hardest to do this. Once you have gotten a girl to like you fast, you’ll be able to have a long lasting relationship with her. Check out my post on how to tell if she’s falling for you too here.

Onward and upward!

TJ, over and out!

My Thoughts On Love, Life & Relationships – A Self Reflection

I have recently emerged from a 10-year relationship with an ex-girlfriend. It was painful, but my love life was in tatters. I thought I had completely mastered the art of picking up women but evidently I still had lots to learn. Bummer.

Listening to George Michael’s “Spinning The Wheel” did not help. It made me miss my girlfriend even more. Word of advice: if you have got a loving relationship then treasure it – and give it everything you’ve got. Don’t take your chances and spin the wheel.

Desperate, I went on a “knowledge binge” and started to download seduction programs by dating gurus like Tyler Durden (Real Social Dynamics), Neil Strauss, Derek Rake and Paul Janka. I found the online seduction community. I was like a kid in the candy store. There was a wealth of seduction knowledge which was pretty awesome. I quickly absorbed all the techniques that have purportedly originated from sophisticated mind control, hypnosis and advanced persuasion. There are some techniques like the dreaded “October Man Routine” which are reputed to make women fall in love with less than an hour. I was super excited!

My Seduction Mistakes – Don’t Fall Into The Same Trap

I came to realize that seduction techniques are inherently manipulative. Despite what seduction gurus want you to understand, what you are doing when you use seduction techniques to pick up women is that you exploit the loophole in female psychology that makes them vulnerable to your advances.

They say all is fair in love and war. I needed to get my ex-girlfriend back at all costs… and I immersed myself in seduction techniques found online

It’s not something I am proud of. But then again I was super jealous of my ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend that I would do anything to gain an edge. I stumbled upon this webpage: –

Light bulbs immediately came up! When combined with meditation technology I was unstoppable when it comes to seducing my ex-girlfriend back. I was sure.

Most importantly, I realized the importance of being who I am – there is no point putting up a fake front and try to make women fall in love with me. I gotta present my true self and not be a faker.

Finally I have ditched the idea of becoming a pickup artist – that is super lame despite what a site like or even want me to believe. I will live life on my own terms!

– TJ