When to Introduce Her to Your Parents
Introducing a girlfriend to one’s parents is that much of a big deal. It is that one big step towards settling down with that girl. It means that the girl matters enough for you to let her into the world that you grew up in. You are letting her inside the world where your comforts are your vulnerabilities; and most importantly, she matters enough for you to let her know the people who matter most to you: your family.
And because it is THAT much of a huge step, it is not done on a whim. Why? Because you don’t want to send the wrong message to the girl, and to your family. Here are some signs that she and you are ready to introduce her to your parents:
· If you love her. If there is not one iota of doubt that you are truly, madly, deeply in love with her, then by all means share the joy with your family. You may not yet be thinking about settling down but you’re secure in her love, just as she secure is in yours, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t take her to meet your folks and maybe the rest of the family.
· If there are no predominant probable causes of conflict between her and your parents. There are many things out there that humanity has created that could cause conflict between people even before they meet. Religion, political biases, race, personal beliefs, or maybe even personal history – take these things into account. Don’t surprise your parents by bringing a woman who they might not be able to accept. If you are sure that you love her despite your parents probably not liking her, it would be best to give your parents a head start. Your parents and your girlfriend deserve that.
· If you’ve mentioned her to your parents in the past. So you’ve been dating for some years and in one or more occasions, you’ve told your parents about you guys. You’ve told them all the nice things about her and maybe once or twice they’ve spoken on the phone or on Skype. If you’re at this stage in your relationship, you’re a total douche if you haven’t yet brought her to meet the parents in person. Seriously.
· If you’re engaged. This is more obligatory than anything else. I’m surprised you have not brought her to meet your parents if she was someone you’d think about marrying. You cannot just surprise your family with your wedding invites and have them meet your bride on your wedding day. That’s just rude and you’ll have to do a lot of coaxing and apologizing to Mommy for not telling you ahead. Good luck with that.
· If you’ve been in the relationship long enough. It’s called for. You’re in a long term, serious committed relationship and if you’ve gone on five years without having her meet your parents, she’ll start questioning your intention in the relationship.
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