TJ's Dating Hub

When She's in Conflict with Her Friends

Girls are as complex as they are simple. And this is maximized by five or more times when it comes to friendships. Girlfriends are okay one day, and un-okay the next. And just when you thought that’s going to be the end of their friendship, voila, they are out going shoe shopping or having cocktails together again.

The thing is, the people who are most affected by the ups and downs of female friendship are the people around them – a.k.a. the boyfriends. And boy oh boy, you do not serve as a mere spectator in this complicated web of friendship and unfriendship. You will have your own role to play and how well (or badly) you play it will define how she will treat you during the height of the conflict. And maybe even after that. However, I think it's ok to put a halt when they engage in a catfight.

So how do you, dearest boyfriend, act when she’s in conflict with a friend? How do you behave and what should you tell her during these times? Here are a few tips:

  • Do not attempt to play the role of the referee. She will hate you for it. Do not talk about it until she’s ready or when she asks for your opinion. Oftentimes we need to just take it all in our heads and the most they need from you is your presence and nothing more. You trying to justify the actions of our friend-nemy/ies will only push us further into ire.

  • Do not rush her. This is a huge no-no especially at the height of the problem. She will hate you for forcing it. One thing about girls having fights is that they love to take their time. Just as much as they love to linger in the bath or in the shower, so do their emotions and rushing isn’t the answer. Rush her and poof! She'll walk out on you.

  • girl walking out

  • Listen. This is especially true and important when your girl is in conflict with someone in her close circle of friends. They always think that their friends might be taking sides and that they wouldn’t have anyone to talk about it with – other than you. And really, venting out helps them calm down so just listen. Don’t say anything – just listen. Oh and an occasional hug will help.

  • Be civil (or stay friends) with the girl she is in conflict with. Unless you are actually part of their fight, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be civil (or friends – if you are friends too) with the other girl in the scenario. There is not a bigger turn off than a guy who interferes and gets himself in a situation that he is not involved in especially if it is a girl quarrel!

  • Do not take sides. Support her, love her, listen to her but do not take sides. You wouldn’t know how you could fuel the fire even further and worsen the problem.

Bottomline

Everything you say or do can affect how she handles the conflict so by all means, try your best to not make things worse!

-TJ