TJ's Dating Hub

Dating After a Divorce

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The Not-So-Beautiful Truth

I didn't want to add salt to the injury by calling it ugly. But it is, and did I just say it? Hey, loosen up a bit! It's not as if you didn't know that, right? Divorce is painstaking, excruciating and expensive. In fact, there's even a list of the most expensive divorces ever

No one wants to get a divorce. It’s a very scary process, full of uncertainties and personal insecurity. Oh, and I’ve heard it’s very lonely too. But then again, it can’t be all that bad can it?

See how to completely destroy her boyfriend

I’ve seen people who have come out of their divorce much, much happier – with a shot at a newfound love too! More than a matter of getting used to, it’s about getting your mind to move on to a totally new phase. As with any new unwelcome changes in our lives, the acceptance is the most difficult part. More often than not, it’s a cycle of denial, acceptance, and moving on. And it depends how well one copes up with the situation before he gets to finally move on.

The thing about dating is that, it’s far more complicated than dating after a mere breakup. Families and children and years and years of marriage are involved. Dating is having to put another woman into this not too simple web of people and memories and problems and, well, feisty court battles in some situations.

The Silver Lining

But hey, everyone gets to take a shot at the silver lining! Everyone deserves a second chance at love and life. So when you’re ready to set foot into the dating scene again, let me arm you with very useful tips into your re-entry into the singles world:

  • Reconnect with friends you have not seen in a while. This is hitting two birds with one stone. One, you are introducing and surrounding yourself with people who are outside of the social circle you shared with your ex-wife. And two, it is a perfect excuse to go out and socialize. Who knows, your friend may tag along some co-worker or you bump into a really attractive lady at the wine bar and…well, the possibilities are endless my friend.

  • Tell your children about your plan to date . Being honest with your children is always healthy. Tell them how badly you felt over the divorce – that you were hurt as much as they - but that you need to start over. Somehow, make it sound like you’re trying to get their permission. When my mother started dating again, the line that sold me out was always, ‘Do you want me to grow old alone? You’ll have your own life someday and I should too…’Try it. It works. It's honest and it's, well, guilt-tripping! Hah!

  • Know your age limit. Man, if you can, please try to keep within 7 or 10 years of your age. It wouldn’t be healthy for you or your children if you date someone who is practically your kids’ age. I’ve seen countless divorcees in their 50s date 18 year olds – to the horror of their 20-something kids. To avoid hooking up with the wrong woman, go to this website. Getting involved with someone your age and level of maturity is more likely to get you into a longer lasting relationship.

  • Avoid hopping from one woman to another in front of your children. If your kid sees you PDA-ing with a different girl every weekend, you're setting a bad example. Yes, I understand the excitement and the hormones but, at least try NOT to take home all the girls you meet. You’d lose your kids’ respect, trust me.

Past Is Past

The dating scene is for everyone. Your past should not hinder you from moving on. It shouldn't define the future, too. So go out there champ!D Don't just overdo it, okay? Good luck!

-TJ